health

My Husband is a Nurse and I’m Scared

/ Jeannine M. DeHart / 2 Comments
Man Wearing Blue Scrub Suit and Mask Sitting on Bench
Photo by: Jonathan Borba

My husband has been a dedicated nurse for 17 years.  Never in his career has he faced the life and death safety issues he now confronts every single day when he walks into the hospital to report for work.   Every day he is, as a friend who also works in healthcare describes it, playing ‘Virus Roulette’ because healthcare workers everywhere are working without the proper personal protective equipment (PPE) and protective measures in place.

My husband is a nurse and I’m scared – petrified, in fact.  I’m scared he will go to work, contract the virus and be the unlucky one who does not make it through.  At the age of 54, he is healthy, but he is not a superhero immune to the illness, nor are any of his coworkers.  I am scared he will bring it home to me and I will get sick and die. I am scared he will bring it home to our children, both teenagers, who will get sick and die. I am scared he will give it to his aging parents who are in the at-risk category. This is ONE nurse, in ONE family. Across the country there are hundreds of thousands of nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, physical therapists, and other healthcare workers who are being unnecessarily put at risk during this crisis. Everywhere, everyone is preaching – Stay Home, Social Distancing, Flatten the Curve.  Why isn’t anyone screaming that these wonderful people trying to do their jobs are spiking the curve – unprotected, they are bringing the virus home to their families who in turn go to the grocery store for supplies, and those people then take it home to their families.  In addition, anyone entering the hospital a non-coronavirus related issue is also at risk because that friendly nurse coming to assist you may have likely been exposed to the virus due to lack of appropriate PPE.  So yes, we are all doing our part to flatten the curve, but there are gaping holes in our healthcare system through which the virus and all our efforts to stop it are pouring out.

My husband signed up to be a nurse to care for people, but not at the risk of his health or his family’s health. We are calling them heroes and soldiers in this fight against COVID-19, but they are being sent into battle without weapons or armor. Healthcare workers are only asking for – screaming for the proper protections so that they may do their jobs safely – for everyone involved.  They are not asking to be excused from their duties, but rather to continue to perform their jobs knowing they are supported and protected by their employers and by extension, our Country.  If our doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers all get sick or die, NO ONE will be there to take care of us or our loved ones. 

My husband and his colleagues feel strongly they have already been exposed to the illness due to the lack of preparedness on the part of hospital administration.  This same scenario is playing out in hospitals throughout the country and it is only getting worse day by day.  Meanwhile, healthcare workers are waiting for the virus to either hit them, their families or those they work alongside.  My husband wonders if each day when he walks into the hospital if it will be the dreadful day the viral load becomes too much and it will be his turn to get sick and possibly die.  Will he walk into work tomorrow to find one of his coworkers is on a ventilator? It’s all a crapshoot – Virus Roulette

He came home last night and when I reached to give him a hug and kiss hello, he pulled back, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said even though he had already changed out of his scrubs. He proceeded to immediately take a shower and throw his street clothes into the laundry.  His face is etched with worry as he and his coworker exchange war stories, and strategies for keeping themselves safe.  He anxiously watches and reads the news, watching the stories of unprepared hospitals in other states reaching capacities and healthcare workers doing their best to fight the war – like bringing a knife to a gunfight.

The other day, my husband felt compelled to reach out to the physician director of his hospital unit to express his discomfort in treating patients without the proper PPE, and in turn for reaching out, he was reprimanded by his supervisor. At every turn, healthcare workers are being told to hush – don’t speak out, keep your head down, and keep doing what you’re doing.  They are turning to private Facebook groups to discuss the situation.  They are afraid of speaking out for fear of losing their jobs.  They are concerned about themselves, their patients, their families.  They are concerned about everyone and carrying this heavy weight alone. Since when have we become a country who punishes people with the loss of their jobs if they bring up legitimate health and safety concerns?  We need to find a way to support these people if we expect our healthcare system to support us during this pandemic crisis.

Healthcare workers are dealing with:

  • Sharing, wiping down or reusing N95 masks because there are not enough to go around.
  • The use of surgical masks rather than N95 masks is resource driven rather than safety driven.
  • No direction, communication, or culpability from upper hospital management along with misinformation.
  • Scarcity of adequate PPE
  • The current hospital environment is creating a cesspool of coronavirus

Healthcare workers immediately need:

  • Appropriate Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)
    • N95s – as regular surgical masks do not provide sufficient airborne protection from the virus.
    • Gowns
    • Protective Face Shields
  • Hospital Executives
    • Reach out on worker’s behalf to secure the proper PPE
    • Provide a supportive environment for healthcare workers rather than threatening job loss when legitimate safety issues are broached.
    • Hazard Pay – some hospitals are hiring temporary nurses at double the rate of their regular                 employees.  Offer current healthcare workers hazard pay for working under duress.
    • Information – keep staff informed of the ever-changing situation and steps they are taking to address health and safety concerns.

My husband and I have had somber discussions about our wishes should either of us die. We have discussed him leaving his job, at the loss of half of our much-needed income.  We have discussed him making a stand with his employer and his union at the risk of losing his job.  He feels drawn to help, to do his job and not abandon his co-workers nor the patients who depend on him.  In NJ we are awaiting the storm.  In the next three weeks, we are expecting hospitals to be overflowing with patients.  My husband is bracing for the influx of patients at the hospital and he has already been reassigned to other areas of the hospital to assist with the crisis. 

Yes, my husband signed up to be a nurse – to care for and protect others – he did not sign up to do his job at the risk of his health, safety, and sanity and that of his family’s. Our healthcare workers are not expendable.

President Trump, are you listening?  Surgeon General, Dr. Jerome Adams, CDC Director, Robert Redfield, CEOs of Hospitals, Directors of Hospitals, Heads of Nursing Unions, are any of you listening?

5 Reasons We’re Drawn to Self-care

/ Jeannine M. DeHart / Leave a comment
Four Lit Tealights
Photo by:
Breakingpic

The idea of self-care has become a multi-million industry and a seemingly modern-day necessity, but maybe we need to start asking ourselves how we’ve gotten to this point?

Self-care is everywhere; yoga, girl’s weekends, wine, massages, meditation, and wellness retreats. Have you ever stopped to ponder why we need and seek out these outlets in the form of a pretty, little package entitled ‘self-care’? It is because we’re too stressed, too overscheduled, too plugged in. We’re too goddamn busy, too tired, too run-ragged, so we look around and say – oh, I really need to take care of myself. Maybe this deep desire for self-care is telling us something – the universe screaming at us to slow down.

We are drawn to self-care because:

24/7 Society – We live in a society where we are connected to technology all the time. Can’t sleep? Grab your phone off the charger and scroll Facebook or reach for your laptop and log into your work email. We have become a society that has trouble shutting down.

Poor Nutrition – We’re hustling from one thing to another on the daily. Get up for work, get kids ready for school, get to work, toil all day, maybe grab lunch at our desks, shuttle kids to activities, get dinner on the table, exercise, go, go, go. And where in that schedule do we stop to nourish ourselves – to enjoy a leisurely, healthy meal?  

Sleep Deprivation – and speaking of our 24/7 society, this leads to sleep deprivation for most of us. Who gets that 7-9 hours of recommended sleep per night? Many of us are lucky if we squeeze in 6 hours of restful sleep. We’re often left burning the candle at both ends.

Corporate Culture – Long gone are the 9-5 days of corporate culture. We’re expected to answer emails promptly at all hours from home, even if we’re sick. We’re expected to check in on weekends and work endless, extended hours to get the work done. This can lead to burnout.  

Relationship Burnout – We’re too burnt out from the hurried lives we lead to properly nourish relationships with the ones we love. Sometimes we are so burnt out from our hurried lives that it spills over into our relationships, leaving us with inadequate time and energy for those we love.

The good news is if we learn to restructure our daily lives, we may not push up against that wall of exhaustion.  Here are some ways to incorporate self-care into our daily lives:

Unplug – Make the conscious effort to unplug when you get home.  Set aside a no technology block of time so you can spend uninterrupted time spending time with family, working out, reading a book, going for a walk – anything to help you shutdown for a little while.

Meal Prep– While, I’m envious of people who can meal prep, unfortunately, I am not one of those people who is good at prepping my food for the entire week to come.  If meal prepping doesn’t work for you, you can prepare enough dinner so there are leftovers the next day for lunch or while you’re chopping veggies for dinner, throw a salad together.  Here are some good recipes that can be used for more than one meal or try these 30-Minute Clean Eating meals to save time in getting a healthy meal on the table.

Turn off Technology at Night – Mute your phone to all but the most essential callers, turn off any computer screens in your room, including the TV and make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary to aid in getting the recommended hours of sleep per night.

Set Reasonable Work Boundaries – While it is not always possible to push back against the 24/7 needs our work requires of us, it is possible to limit the time we do invest at work.  Set some “off limit” hours while you’re at home when you are not available to answer emails, take calls, or do any form of work. 

Couple Time – Use some of your off limit or technology-free time to reconnect with your partner.

Daily Self-care – Carve out small moments during the day to practice self-care. Here are some ideas:

  • Meditate
    • Exercise
    • Stretch
    • Yoga
    • Give yourself a mini-facial
    • Treat yourself to a mani-pedi
    • Take a ½ hour to read some of that book you’ve been meaning to finish.

How to Make the Most of Social Distancing

/ Jeannine M. DeHart / 2 Comments

Finding the silver lining amid the chaos.

Image by Rene Asmussen

Yes, coronavirus is bad. Yes, many of us are panicking. Yes, we will get through this.

First and foremost, try not to panic. I know — easier said than done. My anxiety level this week is inching into the red zone. The declaration by the WHO of coronavirus as a global pandemic is leaving most of us feeling somewhere between scared and terrified. We are experiencing an abrupt upheaval of our routines, our livelihoods, and the daily things we rely upon for stability. We are asking questions like — Do I have enough food in the house? Am I going to be paid if I have to take time off from work? Will my kid’s learning be derailed if schools are closed? Will my kids get sick? Will someone I love get sick or worse? Will I get sick? How long will I be stuck at home? Will the economy collapse? The list of weighty questions goes on. According to recent reports, most of us will recover if we are exposed to the virus. Still, ‘most of us’ does not mean all of us and that little fact is nagging in the back of our minds. We are feeling unsettled.

Coronavirus is certainly upending our lives. Any time our usual routine is interrupted, it is normal to feel rattled. Many of us will be forced to work from home, our kids will be logging onto Google Classroom from home, and we are practicing social distancing. These are new concepts to wrap our heads around, in addition to being bombarded 24/7 with ever-changing facts and figures regarding the severity of the pandemic.

Take a deep breath or three. What can we do? Other than following preparedness guidelines, the only thing we can do right at this moment is to concentrate on and appreciate what is right in front of us. Amid the panic and uncertainty, we can and should and need to find moments of solace. There are opportunities to make the most of the situation, despite the fray.

How many of us spend our weeks running around like chickens without heads — stretching ourselves thin to get all the things done? By the time Friday rolls around, most of us are burnt out from commuting, working, and the daily grind of household chores, shuttling kids to sports and activities and squeezing in time for our needs, such as fitness. Weekends are filled with shuttling kids to sports and activities, catching up on household ‘to-do’ lists, prepping for the week to come, and somewhere in the midst, finding time to relax and take care of ourselves.

There is a silver lining to social distancing and self-quarantining (provided you are not sick, of course) — we suddenly have the glorious gift of extra time. There is no commute, no rushing kids to activities, no last-minute trips to the grocery store, no grabbing dinner out because you don’t have time to cook a decent meal. Dear god, if nothing else, in the middle of the panic and chaos spinning by us, stop to realize this. There is always a flip side to the coin. Here are some ideas on how to use that extra time:

Connect with the Kids — Kids home from school? School and extra-curricular activities canceled? Put technology away. Turn off the TV. Take a lunch break from work and study. Start a game of Monopoly, do a puzzle, play cards, put on some music and dance, laugh and be silly. While it’s also important to address any questions/concerns your kids may have regarding coronavirus, take this time as an opportunity to talk to them about all the things you never seem to find time to discuss.

Connect with Your Partner — After the kids trail off to bed, turn off the tv, put down the devices, open a bottle of wine, sit on the couch with your partner and connect. Talk about your fears and concerns surrounding the virus if you must, but also find time to push aside the news to check in with each other about your lives in general. And, have sex, don’t forget the sex.

Multi-task — You may still have to log into work and supervise the kids studying, but you can throw in a load of laundry, run the vacuum when you have a break, stir something on the stove, or take time to help with homework.

Make the House Smell Good — If cooking and baking are your things, take the time you would normally use commuting to try out some recipes with items from your newly stocked pandemic pantry. Check out these plant-based recipe options by the Minimalist Baker.

Meal Prep — Make and freeze soups, stews, and casseroles. In the event your household comes down with coronavirus, you will have some nourishing meals ready to go.

Netflix — Binge watch Peaky Blinders, Good Girls, Dirty John, Ozark, The Pharmacist, Atypical, Unbelievable, and The End of the F**cking World — all good binges to start.

Selfcare — When was the last time you found a half-hour to fill up the bathtub, light some candles and slide into a bubble bath? Find a quiet place and meditate or do some yoga. Try a workout at home. Here are some good bodyweight-no-equipment-required moves to try.

Reorganize and Catch-up — Clean out that closet you’ve been meaning to reorganize, paint the room you bought paint for a month ago, knock off some of the little, niggling projects on your to-do list.

Wardrobe Comfort — No need to dress for opening the laptop and working from home. Unless, of course, you’re on a conference call — in that case, put on some goddamn clothes. Otherwise, pull on those comfy yoga pants and t-shirt or better yet, stay in your pajamas all day long.

Connect with Family and Friends — It’s likely many of your family and friends are home, too. Been meaning to call your brother? Been meaning to talk to your elderly Aunt? Have a friend you’ve been playing phone-tag with? Now is the time to check in on them via a call or Skype or Facetime or Marco Polo. Find time for a little distant socializing.

Laugh — While coronavirus is definitely no laughing matter, find something light and funny to watch on Netflix. Browse funny memes. Watch your favorite old TV re-runs.

Although we have no guarantees, as there are never any guarantees in life, it’s likely our lives will return to normal in a few months and we’ll be back to our busy lives stacked and stacked with things to do, but for now, try to breathe and appreciate the simple things right in front of you.

“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~ Marcus Aurelius